Three Simple Tips For a Healthy Marriage
“A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers” Ruth Bell Graham
Throughout my years of being a military spouse, I’ve encountered tough times, loneliness, and separations. But through it all I’ve learned so much and about what it takes for us to be a strong collective unit. I was asked if I could provide some advice to others on how to handle the struggles of marriage. At first, I was totally shocked, but then I thought about what I would want my younger self to know about marriage. When my husband and I first said our I do’s, we quickly realized there is no such thing as a one-size fits all marriage. We also had to realize there is no magic book with instructions on how to have an amazing marriage. Those first few years were CRAZY and served as a learning curve for both of us. Over time we realized marriage is not like a Hallmark movie and we must incorporate things that works for both of us. We discovered as long as we follow these three basic tips in our marriage, we can make it through anything. I wanted to share with you those tips and how it helped us obtain a healthy relationship.
“Have a good and godly marriage that shows the world Christ's love through how you sacrificially love and serve one another” John Stange
My first tip is to place God first in your marriage! Yes, this is the most critical step that many couples seem to overlook. Trust me I am speaking from experience! Let me be a little transparent with you guys! When we were first married, placing God first was a step that we did not take. Let me explain more……We both had relationships with Christ, but in our own separate way. The only time we prayed together was during meal time to be honest. Through the years we learned we must cover each other and complete our walk with Christ TOGETHER. We decided to place our hands in Gods hands and renew our faith TOGETHER to strengthen our marriage, family, and home. Once we took this step our marriage felt new and stronger than ever. We made it a point to pray together, give thanks, and cover each other in prayer. In a marriage it’s important to remember that one person is not greater than the other.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” George Bernard Shaw
Communication! Yes COMMUNICATION! In my opinion this is where a lot of marriages tend to break down, because they lack in communication. For my master’s degree internship, I had to conduct counseling sessions with married couples. After completing my internship, I learned the primary cause of their issues were due to a lack of communication in the marriage. This is an area where I can use some practice what you preach! Hey, I am still a work in progress! I have learned to stop holding things in and communicate. My husband used to say early in our marriage “hey I am not a mind reader”. LOL… Now we ensure we are being more open and communicate with each other. Listen, when you and your spouse are on the same page it makes life so much easier.
Leave work at the door. Being a spouse to a service member, work is always a priority. Trust me, I completely understand you’re a soldier. But does it always have to come home with you? NOPE! It sure doesn’t! Early in my marriage it seems that I was always with the soldier and not the man I married. Everything we would talk about seemed to be centered around work. Secretly I dreaded hearing about it and made me underhandedly angry. I would sit and listen because I thought that’s what a good wife was supposed to do. Well that good wife ship sailed, and I wanted to talk to my husband. Not the soldier! But now if it is not of great importance, when he comes home its all about family. I get the man I married, and the kids get dad. We have times where we may discuss work, but if so it’s before he gets home so it doesn’t disrupt family time.
There you have it! These are just some tips that we follow in our marriage, and I hope that they can also be useful in yours. I would love to hear some of your tips that you use in your marriage, share them in the comment section below!
As always remember to Live free, Laugh often, & Be Incredible!